Moth Pheromones Are Good For You

There's a big ruckus out on the left coast about a terrorist moth that has invaded our country.  And we need to go in and spray a few counties where the liberals live to get rid of it, but the Marin hot-tubbers and other hippy winers are all getting up in arms about the cologne were gonna spray 'em with.  Our CDFA outpost in Califernya already had to spend about a half mil just to educate these whackos about the benefits of FairMoan treatments. 

Spread the word.   We killed lots of mosquitos with DDT and other bugs with Malathion, and now is our chance to kill moths for the first time with a solution that doesn't kill them.   It just messes up their dating cycle makin' em think their mates are all over the place - in the parks, beaches, playgrounds, schools, streets, gardens, back yards, trees, cars, offices, and shopping malls.   The fairmoan is innocent, and I'm even gonna take my daughter Jenna and her new husband down there to watch the first spray from our helicopter to prove it's safe.

Here is the truth of the matter, from our biggest supporter other than the guy selling the pesticides, AG Kawawura, the guy in charge of the CDFA (short for Califernya department of food and acrigulture):

“I urge all Bay Area families to remember this eradication is based on the best science; a decade of worldwide aerial pheromone applications shows no indication of human health threats and I assure them that a product for aerial treatment in 2008 will not be chosen until it is proven safe to people, pets and the environment. I also encourage everyone rely on scientifically proven research and ignore false information that causes an alarming amount of unwarranted fear.”

The Vegan Reader, one of those left coast un-patriotic libby groups that have an agenda to destroy our farms and turn us all into organic vegetable eaters, responded to his statement:

"Who, in their right mind, would trust an agency that creates an illegal emergency to gain millions in federal funding, puts unwarranted quarantines on organic farmers, promulgates the ludicrous concept that inhaling pesticide is fine for people and then looks the other way when the reports of irreparable damage start flooding in from all sides?"

You see what we are up against?   America, we need to all unite behind the spray and make sure we eradicate these terrorist moths before they eradicate us.   If we let the people of the San Francisco Bay Area stop us, the moths win...

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